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وَسَارِعُواْ
إِلَى
مَغْفِرَةٍ
مِّن رَّبِّكُمْ
وَجَنَّةٍ
عَرْضُهَا
السَّمَاوَاتُ
وَالأَرْضُ
أُعِدَّتْ
لِلْمُتَّقِينَ
، الَّذِينَ
يُنفِقُونَ
فِي
السَّرَّاء
وَالضَّرَّاء
وَالْكَاظِمِينَ
الْغَيْظَ
وَالْعَافِينَ
عَنِ
النَّاسِ
وَاللّهُ
يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ
And vie with one another to attain to your  Sustainer's
forgiveness and to a paradise as vast as the heavens and the earth, which has
been readied for the God-conscious, those who spend [in His way] in time of
plenty and in time of hardship, and hold in check their anger, and pardon
their fellow-men because God loves the doers of good [Q
3:133-134].
الا
اخبركم
بأفضل من
درجة الصلاة
و الصيام و الصدقة
؟
اصلاح
ذات البين و
فساد ذات
البين هي
الحالقة
Shall I inform what is on a higher level
than prayer, fasting and charity?
Making reconciliation among yourselves.
Discord among yourselves will lead to your detriment. [Prophet
Muhammad (pbuh)]
Among the common problems we are
increasingly encountering in close relationships, family circles, among
supposed loved ones… is the tendency to hold grudges, and the inability to
want to forgive. In these desperate and trying times, when compassion and
understanding in the home environment is so important, the generosity of spirit
to forgive is so necessary.
Carrying the Burden of Hurt
It
is a reality of life that you will occasionally experience pain, frustration,
offence, loss, and injury. Life is filled with such experiences; whether
physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual; whether individual or
familial; and someone, somewhere at some time will contribute to a negative
experience that will hurt, anger or disappoint you.
Many individuals are journeying through life
with emotional and psychological stress and strain from a variety of past
hurts. Some may have resentments against a parent, relative, or friend who
has wronged them in the past. The pain or loss occurred sometime BEFORE, it
was the PAST. The event is over now, even though some of the consequences may
continue. How it continues and for how long is greatly determined by the one
bearing the hurt.
‘Afw ~ Forgiving & Healing
There are many names of Allah given in the
Qur’an which reflect divine attributes. Some of these names are directly
related to His compassion and Divine Forgiveness…
- Al-Ghafoor / The most Forgiving
- Al-Tawwab / The Acceptor of
repentance.
- Al-Haleem حليم / The Clement.
- Al-Rahman and al-Rahim / The most Merciful
and Compassionate.
- Al-’Afuw: Literally the
word ‘afw عفو means “to release”
“to heal”, “to restore”, “to remit”. Thus in
relation to Allah it means “to release us from the burden of punishment
due to our sins and mistakes”, “to restore our honor after we have
dishonored ourselves by committing sins and making mistakes.” Sometimes
in the Qur’an both names:‘afuw عفو and
ghafoor غفور come together.
The Qur’an teaches that Allah is the
ultimate Judge, Who punishes, but is not bound to punish. The justice of
Allah, according to Qur’an is that Allah does not and will not inflict undue
punishment on any person nor will He ignore the good of any person. His mercy
is unlimited and His love is infinite. “O you servants of Mine who have
transgressed against your own selves! Despair not of Allah's mercy: behold,
Allah forgives sins totally; verily, He is indeed Most Forgiving, Dispenser
of Grace!”[Qur'an 39:53]
There are many verses in the Qur’an and
sayings of the Prophet (peace be upon him( on the love, mercy and forgiveness
of Allah.
In one of the prayers that the Prophet
taught, he said, “O Allah, Thou art the most Forgiving, Thou love to
forgive, so please forgive me.”
Human Forgiveness:
Just as it is important to believe in the
mercy and forgiveness of Allah, it is also necessary to base human relations
on forgiveness. We cannot expect Allah’s forgiveness unless we also forgive
those who do wrong to us. Forgiving each other is one of the most important
Islamic teaching. In the Qur’an Allah has described the Believers as “those
who avoid major sins and acts of indecencies and when they are angry they
forgive.” [Qur’an 42:37]. “The recompense for wrongdoing is a
fitting punishment, but whosoever forgives and makes amends, his reward is
with Allah.” [Qur’an 42:40]
The capacity for compassion and the wisdom
to forgive one another for past wrongs, hurts, and misunderstandings is one
of the greatest attributes any human being can possess and exercise. The
faithful ones are …
والذين
يجتنبون
كبائر الاثم
و الفواحش و
اذا ما
غضبواهم
يغفرون
… they who
avoid major sin and impropriety; and even when they have cause to be angry,
they forgive. [Qur'an 42:37]
Reflect
We are in many ways products of our life
experiences and it is easy to allow some past events to effect our current
thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences of the past often gets stuck in
our minds due to vengeful thinking, and be aware that thinking in a
particular pattern creates a mental path, which directly affects our attitude
and our behavior. As long as you hold on to the anger, victimization, and
pain, you will have this negative energy locked inside you; affecting you
mentally, spiritually, and physically.
This inevitably fans the flames of
resentment in a person without actually dealing with the reality of the issue.
Capacity to Forgive
Have you ever intentionally (or
unintentionally) done something or said something to another person that hurt
or angered them? Recall a few of these, particularly the ones that gnaw at
your guilty conscience and turn these guilty feelings into growth awareness.
It is not easy for many of us to forgive
others, especially if we feel that we have a good reason to be upset. The
ability, compassion and wisdom to forgive one another for past wrongs, hurts,
and misunderstandings is one of the greatest attributes any of us can possess
and exercise. Can you imagine how many marriages and strained family
relationships could be healed and restored with love and genuine respect if
individuals would truly forgive each other?
We
must keep in mind that as much as we need Allah's forgiveness for our own
sins and mistakes, we must also practice forgiveness towards those who do
wrong to us. Sayyedna ‘Ali echoed the same sentiments when he asked, How
do you expect the mercy of the Most Merciful Who is most merciful to those
who show mercy to others?
Remember, Allah is most merciful to
those who are merciful to others.
Readiness to Pardon
We will be more ready to forgive if we
realize that…
~ people did, do and will hurt us (just as
we at times hurt others)
~ we too need forgiveness (just as others
deserve ours)
~ resentment hurts us more than the person
against whom they are held
~ our faith prefers forgiveness over
resentment and vengeance
و
ا ن تعفوا و
تصفحوا و
تغفروا فان
الله غفور رحيم
If you
pardon, reconcile and forgive;
(know that)
surely Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. [Qur’an
64:14]
~ forgiveness has truly been extended when
you can think or talk about the one who hurt you without feeling resentment
towards that person.
Realize that ...
·
Forgiveness is the most pervasive of all
Divine acts [Qur'an 7:156]
·
when we forgive we may not change the
negativity of the past, but we certainly can affect the future in a positive
way
·
responding to negativity in such a positive
manner is no ordinary matter. Strength of character is required. Allah says
in the Qur'an: "Never can good and bad be equal. Repel the
negative with something better, in such a manner that the person between you
and whom there was animosity, turns to close friendship; None shall be
inclined to this except those who possess the capacity for patient
perseverance, and those with tremendous resolve." [Qur'an 41:34]
Remember that seeking forgiveness is a sign
of humility,
o
forgiving others is a sign of magnanimity.
May Allah make us of the humble and the
magnanimous. The Prophet (pbuh) said,
ما
زاد الله
بعفو الا عزا
The capacity
to forgive increases the honorability of the forgiver in the estimation of
Allah
By: Br.
Sadullah Khan
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