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Motherhood
By Khalid Baig
Mothers are the silent workers who are indispensable for
building the character of the next generation.
In April 1997, the then President Clinton gathered an army of former presidents,
state governors, city mayors, and hundreds of prominent people from all 50
states to address one of the most pressing problems facing America today. He
brought former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Colin Powell, to lead this
army. Their task: solve the problem of 15 million young Americans considered
at-risk youth. “They are at risk of growing up unskilled, unlearned, or, even
worse, unloved,” said Powell, who was appointed chairman of President’s Summit
for America’s Future. The problem has “the potential to explode our society,” he
warned.
He was not exaggerating. Fifteen million in a total population of about sixty
million youth is a huge number. Mostly, they come from dysfunctional families
and fall victims to the “pathologies and poisons of the street.” Every year, 3.4
million of them try drugs. Half a million attempt suicide. A lot of them will
drop out of high school and will be functionally illiterate in a country with
free universal education. Their sexual mores differ little from those of
breeding horses (70% have done it before the age of 17). Some time before this,
a prominent lawyer and writer, Alan Dershowitz, suggested reducing the age of
consent to 15. (Marriage at that age will, of course, remain illegal!) Violent
crimes committed by these youngsters have become such a problem that in May
1997, the Congress passed the Juvenile Crime Bill that allows people as young as
13 to be treated as adults in the criminal justice system.
What was Powell’s solution for this daunting problem? He would find
mentors-adult volunteers who would take care of these children. But what
happened to their parents? They were not killed in a war, or by a plague, or
some other natural disaster. Their problem is self-inflicted. Mothers left the
home to “realize their full potential” on the factory floor, in the show room,
or in the office. A society that belittled the task of homemaking lost the
homemakers. With the free mixing of men and women in the work place, one thing
led to another. The home was destroyed from both ends.
Life is fun. Homemaking is dull. Children are a burden. Now 15 million of them
are a burden on the society. It remains to be seen how a society, whose members
could not take care of their own children, will make them take care of other’s
children. But the elite team of American leaders could not bring itself to
admitting that the root of the problem has been in the forcing of the women out
of the home.
Former Soviet leader, Mikhail Gorbachev was a little more candid. In his 1987
book, Perestroika, he mentions the “paradoxical result of our sincere and
politically justified desire to make women equal with men in everything.” He
notes: “But over the years of our difficult and heroic history, we failed to pay
attention to women’s specific rights and needs arising from their role as mother
and homemaker, and their indispensable educational function as regards children.
Engaged in scientific research, working on construction sites, in production and
in the services, and involved in creative activities, women no longer have
enough time to perform their everyday duties at home and housework, the
upbringing of children and the creation of a family atmosphere. We have
discovered that many of our problems in children and young people’s behaviour,
in our morals, culture, and in production-are partially caused by the weakening
of family ties and slack attitude to family responsibilities. That is why we are
now holding heated debates in the press, in public organizations, at work and at
home, about the question of what we should do to make it possible for women to
return to their purely womanly mission.”59
Well, Gorbachev (and the world), listen to the best teacher and guide for
humanity, Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh). He elevated the women from their status as
chattel to the dignity of being equal servants of Allah, with men. Yet their
status in society was not conditioned upon entering man’s world. Their most
important task is to take care of the home and children. “Take care of your home
for that is your jihad.”60 Jihad is the epitome of Islamic life. Declaring
homemaking as jihad for women is giving it the highest possible status in an
Islamic society.
Not only is it an all-important task, only women are uniquely qualified to do
it. It is not by accident that pregnancy and nursing are purely feminine tasks.
Allah has given women the special talents and psychological make-up needed to
take care of the children. There is no substitute for mother’s milk or mother’s
love. No one can extract and bottle motherly compassion. Her patience, kindness,
willingness to sacrifice her own comforts, and her natural affinity for children
and the children’s natural affinity for the mother are the key to successful
upbringing of children. A mother understands the children’s problem even when
they cannot express it. She can uniquely sense their needs, both physical and
emotional. No day care center or nursery can make up for the absence of the
mother and father. “What the children need for their upbringing is not a poultry
farm,” says Mufti Taqi Usmani.
Mothers are the silent workers who are indispensable for building the character
of the next generation. A believing mother, who understands the crucial nature
of her responsibility, will imbibe her children with faith and moral values, as
only she can. She will raise children with courage, honesty, truthfulness,
patience and perseverance, love and kindness, faith and self-confidence. On the
other hand, a society without mothers and homemakers will produce at-risk youth.
In a way, their role is like that of the archer’s in the battle of Uhud. It
looked less important, but was the key to the fate of the entire army. If women
hold on to their front, the entire army will succeed. If they leave it for
“greater action” elsewhere, everyone will lose.
(59 Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev, Perestroika: New Thinking for Our Country and
the World. (New York: Harper & Row, Publishers, 1987).
(60 Musnad Ahmed, Hadith 23257)
Courtesy: Islamic Voice, Bangalore, India. December 2006
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